Things I have learnt in 26 years...

I don't claim to be some philosophical, over-achiever at life.. In fact, I'm probably quite the opposite. I currently have chipped nail polish and the highlight of my week is the delicious sandwich I am due to eat for dinner tonight. Okay, my life isn't quite that dull, it's pleasant.. normal.. or any other unremarkable adjective you wish to use. I guess I'm just a typical human being, whatever that may be? My point is, don't go expecting to find some ground-breaking, life-defining moments from what you are about to read. It's basically just a pile of stuff I have learnt from surviving the sum total of 26 years and 5 months on this planet.

1. Chocolate solves all problems, no matter how big or small.

2. Leggings are not to be trusted. They mislead you with their false sense of opaqueness and then take great pleasure in exposing you to whoever chances a glance. 

3. A little bit of time puts everything, and I mean everything into perspective. Mountains crumble over time, and so do your problems. 

4. Sometimes you will eat a whole pack of biscuits, purely because you can. 

5. You never really appreciate how much your parents do for you until you have to fend for yourself in the big, wide world, pay your own way and do laundry. 

6. If you have a scab,you'll pick it until it bleeds. 

7. You never remember how truly horrific a hangover can be until you're hungover. Then you recover and miraculously forget until you're hanging out of your ass again!

8. Self control and ready salted Pringles can never be used in the same sentence. 

9. People will talk about you... let them!

10. Nothing gets your heart rate going like a call from a withheld number. 

11. Retail therapy is as good as any.

12. Drinking shots never ends well... ever!

13. Songs you loved when you were younger will get re-released in the charts by some singer/band you've vaguely heard of and you will feel really, really old!

14. A 5 am alarm is more painful than standing on Lego.. fact!

15. It doesn't matter how many hair grips you buy, you will never find one when you really need one!

16. It's perfectly acceptable to cry when you can't find anything to wear.

17. Life isn't a race, don't rush it. Live in the present, stop worrying about the past and over-thinking the future.

18. Nail polish lasts infinitely longer on toe nails than it does on hand nails.

19. No night out is complete without gorging on cheesy chips like you've never been fed.

20. Don't listen to life advice from an idiot on the internet.. I don't know what the hell I'm doing!?